3 Things on a Wednesday 

  1. We were all sick, all weekend. My wife took a sick day on Monday and it allowed me to take 20 minutes to get some garden weeding done and another 20 minutes to have a BATH!! (it has been so long since I’ve soaked…). But it’s true what they say, mothers don’t get a sick day. My wife is a mother too, of course, but being a salaried, Mon-Fri employee means she’s entitled to actual sick days. I see it from both sides – fair, because she has to rest up to be able to function to earn a salary, but fucked up because I have to function to keep a tiny human alive 24/7. Oh, modern family dynamics, how isolating and unrealistic you are. Despite the fact that I don’t like people that much, I sometimes wish we were raising this baby in a commune of hippy women. 
  2. Avery has been chatting up a storm, mixing consonants and playing with new sounds. My favourite is “Gah”, which we are trying to associate with “cat” (that would so be our child to say “cat” as her first word), and “Fuh” which kind of sounds like she’s trying to swear. Interestingly she has said “dada” a bunch of times, but she hasn’t yet been exposed to that as a word, so it’s just a random connection of sounds for her. 
  3. We are re-assessing our sleep plan. WTF else is new. My wife and I have struggled to get on the same page about infant sleep from the beginning, and I have avoided having conversations about it because I don’t want to have to face doing something outside of my instincts. I’m an attachment parent, turns out. Never would have expected it of myself. My wife’s philosophy is to let her know that we will always be there for her if she needs us (so no CIO, thank god), but to also show her that she doesn’t need us (so let her figure out how to get herself to sleep through lots of picking up briefly and putting back down). I like this philosophy, in theory, but it makes me sad to put it into practice. It might be more an emotional barrier on my part than an actual concern for Avery. I love sleeping next to her, feeling her breath, smelling her baby smell, and feeling needed. I love it so much that when we agreed to stop bed sharing at 6 months, I accepted my fate for the next [upwards of] 2.5 years as sleeping in her nursery chair with her in my arms. So now the plan is I won’t wait until I’ve nursed/rocked her for 20+ minutes before transferring her back to the crib (trying to ensure a deep sleep and sound-asleep transfer). It’ll be a pick up to comfort (the hand on her chest just aggravates her more now) and right back down once she is calm. My wife is also going to take over the first shift of wake ups that happen after we go to bed around 9:30/10 and I will start my shift around 1am so my wife can get some back-to-back hours of sleep before work. Evening wakeups are on me because that’s a big guzzling nursing time for her, like she’s trying to stock up for the night. 

8 thoughts on “3 Things on a Wednesday 

  1. Ha ha, I know what you mean about not liking people and yet kind of wanting to live in a commune. I would be all in for a commune of introverts. We could have lots of space between our yurts and some kind of code for ensuring that everyone has their personal space 🙂

    J is one year older than Avery, and we are STILL reassessing our sleep plan on a regular basis. My wife and I tend to be on the same page about it, but J, not so much…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been sick as well, which really sucks when you’re the mom and main baby caregiver! I actually got upset Sunday morning when C just wouldn’t quiet down (I had just fed and changed her) and gave her to hubby and told him I just couldn’t do it anymore…and went into the guest room to sleep for a couple hours. I felt horribly guilty, but I honestly had nothing left in me to give to that baby at the time. We do what we have to to get by!! I really hope your new sleep plan works out for you guys. I know you’ve been struggling for so long with it…fingers crossed you make some progress!!

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  3. I’d like to be included in the Introvert Commune, please.

    I was just puzzling the other day how our daughter hasn’t said anything along the lines of “dadadada” and says “momomomom” all the time. Of course, it’s likely fluke, but I thought it was funny given that she never hears the former.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good luck with trying out the new sleep routine! We didn’t plan to bed share with our son, but when he was around six months bringing him to our bed was the only way we knew how to get him back to sleep during night wake ups- it was nice for those reasons you mention, until he became a restless sleeper and we were getting kicked hard and not sleeping ourselves haha.
    We’ve joked about getting a sister wife to help out with the household duties, I guess this could also just be called a maid.

    Liked by 1 person

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