Our first daycare interview 

I read some parenting magazine article recently that listed the things you should do to protect your marriage when you’re about to have a baby. One of the things was to get on the same page about major parenting issues. We did that. We talked and talked, and it turned out we felt the same way about pretty much everything parenting related. But when the baby was born, I changed. I thought I’d be an active pusher of independence, and I wouldn’t be a coddler. After Avery was born, my instincts changed my perspective, and I now find myself believing that it is what’s best for Avery for me to tend to her when she cries, cuddle her whenever she wants it, and help her to do tough things – LIKE SLEEP – if she is having trouble doing it on her own. 

The other thing I thought I’d want for our then unborn baby was a serious daycare situation. I wanted a licensed centre with early childhood educators on staff who would push my little one intellectually with select learning activities. Now all I want is a warm and comforting provider with as few other kids as possible who simply lets the kids play as they wish in a safe and supportive environment. 

My wife and I went to see our first potential daycare last night. I was worried that I would automatically hate every provider we would see simply because I’m such a protective mama bear now. But I loved her… My wife, on the other hand, was not so easily convinced. 

This provider is not licensed, which turned out to be an important requirement to my wife and not to me (an added challenge, since there are only licensed daycare spots available for 20% of Canadian children). She is not an ECE. Her experience comes from raising her own two children, and looking after the same 6 kids in her home for the past several years. The toys in her playroom were not necessarily educational, but they looked fun. There was a friendly dog on the premises. She was quiet and calm, and she had a very sensitive daughter to whom she was offering lots of hugs while we were there. 

When we got to the car I was so surprised to see that my wife and I were making such opposite faces – me, an excited smile, and my wife, a grimace. 

We know now that we need to talk about our expectations and hopes for Avery’s childcare provider a lot more. We need to find someone we both love. And although we’re starting this process SO late in the game, the worst case scenario for us is that I keep taking care of Avery full time into the fall and somehow make school work around that. We won’t rush her into care we don’t love.  

7 thoughts on “Our first daycare interview 

  1. Hahaha, our parallel lives continue. We went with the warm, loving unlicensed “nanny” who has her 4 year-old son at home. They do a lot of park time, music, library, and walks. Not a whole lot of educational stimulation, but I care less about that then I thought!! However, as she grows, we’ll be moving more toward something structured for at least half days. Good luck in your search. It is SO hard to choose someone to spend so much time with your baby when you are off doing work.

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  2. It’s so important to make sure you’re both comfortable with your childcare provider. We ended up going with the warm, nurturing nanny share – Mabel shares her with just 1 other baby. Very loving and sweet with trips to various playgrounds, library, nice walks, etc. we’re not concerned with the educational stuff yet. Maybe in a year or so we’ll start some half days at preschool for more structure. Whichever way you go, I hope you’re both excited about it. It’s such a relief to feel good about who’s watching your kid. And it makes it much easier to focus on work!

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  3. Yikes! I hope you guys can come to some sort of consensus and find a place that you love for Avery!! B and I really haven’t even talked about this at all. I’m definitely hoping that I’ll be able to stay home with her (and hopefully whatever other babies we will be blessed with) for quite a while and we won’t have to worry about it. I do know that at some point it may be our reality though, and I truly hope we can find someone fabulous to care for our kids that we agree on!

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  4. It’s really hard to make decisions for your baby before you know your baby. I think pre-baby we just see them as these abstract little things that need caring for, but we don’t understand that they will actually have personalities and preferences all their own. I flipped on my child care preference, too… and now that some time has gone by, I’ve flipped again!

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    • Yeah we actually said that to each other after this interview – we know what we each want for Avery right now, but who knows what kind of kid we’ll be dealing with even 3 months from now and what her priority needs will be.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This sounds like a potentially tough situation. I hope you find a place you both like, nay, love. And in the meantime, I hope you get to explore enough places to develop your actual pro/con list, separate from what you think your pro/con list is. Is it weird that the way you described your evolving views reminded me of choosing donor sperm? Going in, I assumed I would care a lot about healthy history. As it turned out, I didn’t. Surprise!

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