Pets and babies and patience and problems

So first of all, an update from yesterday’s hospital visit post. Avery developed a high fever last night (38.9°C) and slept horribly. I had to sit with her in the chair in her room for hours, and when I brought her into our bed she still woke up crying a few times through the night. She was sweaty and clingy and has been nursing NON STOP for the past almost 24 hours. We are just hoping that she picked up a simple bug in the hospital waiting room, and that it’s not a sign of infection from a ceramic shard being stuck inside her somewhere. We’re waiting until tomorrow to make sure the fever goes away on its own before going back to the ER. We really want to avoid going back to that germy place. 

On to our next issue. Our old cat loved Avery, but died when she was 1 month old due to a stress induced lung issue because he had an autoimmune disorder. He also used to shit all over the floors throughout the house upwards of 7 times a day because of his IBS. I never got mad at him for it. I always cleaned it up and felt sorry for him. I had unlimited patience. Now that we have a baby, my patience for the cats is not what it used to be. 

We got a kitten to replace the old cat when he died. I know this kitten is a good cat – he’s so patient with the baby, he let’s us do anything with him, and he’s cute. He jumps up on the counter and steals food, but that has been his only downfall. The old cat did that too. Despite his good nature, I have really struggled to bond with him. I find myself swearing at him and wishing he would run away, mostly when he tears through the room and wakes the baby moments after I’ve gotten her to sleep, or when he steals the baby’s food out of her plate when I turn my back. 

That has all been frustrating, but I’ve felt bad for my lack of patience with him. I want Avery to learn compassion for animals, and she’s not seeing that modeled from me lately. I barely even take time to pet the cats anymore. It’s sad. They used to be my babies. 

Anyway, today something truly shitty happened. The kitten shit on the kitchen floor. I asked my mom (who is a vet) why he might have done this, and she said that since he has been having small drip-like accidents just outside of the litter box lately, he may be exhibiting early signs of IBS. How can we end up with two cats in a row with the same disease?? The reason I never reprimanded our old cat for his accidents all over the house is because he was trying to escape the pain of having a bowel movement. He was conditioned to not want to use the litter box, and to keep tying to get further and further away from what he thought was the source of the pain. This seems to be what is happened to the new kitten. 

But now Avery is crawling. We just had to go to the Emergency Room because she stuck something dangerous in her mouth when I was 3 feet away. She CANNOT put cat shit in her mouth. I don’t know what to do about this situation. I already watch her constantly, and I can’t possibly watch any more diligently. If he poops in a room and she crawls in there and I follow her, she could get to it before I get to it. I don’t know what to do. 

This cat is already on immune support medication because he had runny eyes when we got him. I repeat –  I don’t know what to do. 

5 thoughts on “Pets and babies and patience and problems

  1. I don’t know what to do re: the cat, but you’re not alone in not bonding with a pet after baby. I’ve had a really tough time with our cats who, before baby, I loved to bits and would gush about if someone so much as mentioned cats. Now I can hardly remember to pet them. It’s hard. But it has been getting a little better, especially as sleep improves for us. I don’t know if I’ll ever love them like I used to, but I don’t resent them anymore. I hope it’s the same for you, but also I really really hope the floor poop was a one-off. :/

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  2. My friend got her cat put down just after her kids were born (years before we met). Before I was a parent I was horrified when she told me that. When my daughter was about 5 months old I realised that I totally understood that decision. Our cats are still with us, but one has been spraying all over the house! We have tried everything that is advised to stop it, but despite some reduction she’s still doing it occasionally. Now Chase is crawling, I really don’t have patience with it. My wife is still willing to deal with it, but if it gets worse we might end up making a difficult decision. I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s so hard either way. I hope it was just a one-time thing and doesn’t become an issue.

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    • Oh man, I forgot till now that our old cat had started spraying, too. It’s HORRIBLE. It really can force you to make a difficult decision, even without kids in the mix. I hope your situation resolves itself!!


  3. I feel the same way about our dogs, and I feel so guilty about it. Especially our older dog, who is 12. He was always the center of my life – went to work with me, hiked all the time. I feel terrible that he is in his golden years (starting to get more achy, lazy, have teeth that need to be pulled) and he’s the last in line for attention and care. My brother and his wife are pregnant and I told them 20 times not to get a dog. What did they do? Adopted a dog 6 months before the due date. Ugh.

    Sorry, I don’t have any advice about the cat. I don’t know the logistics, but can it be an indoor/outdoor cat?

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