We had brunch with our donor and his family today. We were good friends before he became our donor, and we’re good friends still. He and his wife have two kids, one school age and one baby.
As I watched Avery play with two children who are her genetic half-sisters, it was utterly clear that they were in no way siblings. They are connected by the mere fact that their parents are friends. Sure, on a biological level one can’t deny that the connection goes deeper than that, but socially, experientially, we are two separate families who happened to be having brunch with our respective kids in tow.
It gave me a feeling of relief to feel that way. Who knows what the future holds for our daughter’s connection with them – that’s up to them. But since genetic relation has become somewhat of a sensitive topic in our house, it was good to feel nothing while we watched the kids play.
Adventures of a Mom with a Wife 
I find that relieving too. I’d have to unpack exactly why…
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Yeah, it’s really complex. For me, it’s not like we want to deny our daughter these potential significant relationships and the possibility of having half sisters, but we feel protective our our little family because there are some people out there who don’t accept us as a family. In a way it’s nice to pretend for a minute that we don’t owe this outside person for our family.
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