We had our donor’s family over for dinner recently. Their two kids are 8 years and 18 months, and Avery has a budding friendship with both of them; especially the older one, who seriously loves Avery (seriously – she says it all the time, and hugs the daylights out of her, and it’s the sweetest thing ever).
We feel so incredibly lucky to have this positive relationship with our donor and his whole family. Although we’ve decided to have another baby so that Avery will have an actual sibling, it’s feels good to know she has other kids out there her age who she can be connected to in a special way. It’s different from a friendship, and it’s definitely not a sibling relationship. It’s just a unique relationship that not all kids get to experience.
Do those kiddos know that their dad is also the donor? Obviously they’re super young, but just curious if they know. I’m honestly not sure how I’d handle that if I were in that situation. I think on one hand I’d want them to know they’re family, but on another it might be weird for them. It’s a lot to think about!
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The older one knows. They’re a very sciencey family – the older one knew what genes were and what the content of cells looked like at 4 years old. So she can understand her relation to my daughter as purely genetic, and not be weirded out by us not being one big family. But, it’s clear that she holds a special place in her heart for my daughter. Our donor does too, and that ok with me. 😊
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Wow that’s awesome! The more people to love a child the better 😊
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We just chose our known donor who is a friend of ours. Had our first iui a couple weeks ago. How did you guys choose your donor and what were the expectations you guys had going into the process?
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Our donor was a close friend who came to us with the offer when we disclosed that we wanted to start a family. He was a perfect genetic specimen (weird way of looking at a friend, but it was the truth) so it was an easy yes for us. We expected some weirdness, but there was none! We also expected him to have no relationship with our child beyond being a family friend, and so far that has been the case. Good luck!!
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Same here lol my friend and I used to work together years ago and we have mirrored personalities. We used to joke about him being our donor all the time and years later, that’s how the cats played out. And being a perfect specimen is totally what we were going for too lol we were like he’s, tall, broad shouldered,, not balding, square jaw etc lol
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